Inscrit le: 01 Sep 2017
|Posté le: 04/10/2017 09:21:02 Sujet du message: LSD rapes my mind and Im powerless - Anyone else?
I've used LSD in my career a few times and of them nearly all end up in a dark reality that mentally feels like my mind was raped.
A very small dose is pleasurable and I will be giggly and the walls my change colours and I have an awesome time. The people I was with barely rated these trips at all.
The stronger ones would end up putting me into a reality that felt completely cut off from the normal world. All my friends seemed to understand how to roam and have a good time in this world but my mind couldn't work it out.
The hallucinations were awesome and never caused me any trouble, it was the mind fuck. I would usually cower in a corner unable to speak because when I would try to say something different words would come out. It made me very self conscious and anxious (I was still figuring out who I was and had intruding thoughts that I wanted private). To add to my communication problems, when I did get something across I was like a child unable to interpret sarcasm or my friends personality. I would take a joke as serious and the room would turn red and then Id seem to get roasted, I don't even know if this happened or not. I couldnt tell if what they said was actually said or my trip doing it.
To add to that, my friends would turn into a sort of stereotypical character image that matched what they were wearing. For example, one friend had a helicopter hat on and he was just a big kid, that turned out to be a bully. The problem was the conversations would match there character. As if they were someone completely different and I couldn't communicate to or understand why there personality seemed to turn into something completely different to match my hallucinated image of them.
It is a very draining experience, I found meth would bring my mind to a level I could control, however, this was only temporary and when the stability seemed back into wonderland it was strong than before. I once delayed the end of a trip that turned into mild wonderland for nearly a week by continuous use of meth. I'm sure my head could if ld get stuck (is this even true, stuck in a trip?), especially by using meth continuously when it is most intense.
It lasts for hours and there is no escape and after each experience I need to go be by myself and piece my head back together feeling degraded and ashamed. My friends didn't care, they still had fun and I just sat in a corner freaking out so the feelings were unwarranted.
I didn't find the right solution from the internet.
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